How Old Do I Look?

What we usually hear in response to that question

Once, during a business dinner, a very influential man asked me how old I thought he was. Objectively, he looked about fifty, but I hesitated — what if he was younger? An honest answer might not exactly speed up my career… while guessing a bit lower could only work in my favor.

So I decided to play it safe and named the minimum age that, in my view, could realistically fit his position — “forty-two.” To my surprise, I guessed right! The important gentleman admired my insight, while I was left wondering if answers to such questions mean anything at all — except what the other person hopes to hear.

Years passed. Suddenly, I stopped liking my own photos and started craving reassurance from others. When asked my age, I would smile hopefully and ask back: “Well, how old would you say I am?” The answers varied. Some added a couple of years, some subtracted ten, others struggled to dodge the question altogether.

At some point, that old conversation came back to me along with its forgotten lesson: sadly, not even the mirror tells you the truth. For a long while, we insist on seeing only what we want in it — while a random snapshot couldn’t care less whether it delights or upsets us.

Some people ask tough questions, while others take a proactive approach and try to guide everyone toward the “right” answer with the help of clothing and other image tricks they believe can influence how old they appear.

Take, for example, the photo of the spouses of NATO leaders at the 2017 summit in Belgium.

The angular “teenager” in a black mini-dress on the left is Brigitte Macron, the 64-year-old First Lady of France. She’s twenty-four years older than her husband, and for her, the desire to look young seems to outweigh even the need to match the dignity of her role.

Her choice of a “girlish” outfit triggered a storm of mockery, though objectively, she deserves admiration. Teenage fashion is clearly not on our side.

Once I heard a striking woman of a very “mature” age say:

“I never hide my age — I enjoy surprising people.”

For her, every birthday is still a celebration, not a reason to sigh and throw a hard question at loved ones. She owns her age proudly, without trying to squeeze into the one left behind. And that, without a doubt, adds color to her life.

We can all do the same — if we carve out time for ourselves in the daily routine and spend it wisely. Complaining, sulking, and dressing like a teenager is easier, but far less effective than taking matters into our own hands and trying to change them.

And it’s never too late to start.

The original Russian version of this article was published on January 8, 2018.